


I, You, Him, Us

by goldieslove



Category: Golden Child (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, Poliamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-29 01:40:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18297716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldieslove/pseuds/goldieslove
Summary: Youngtaek and Jaehyun were best friends. They're doing great, until Jibeom came into their lives.





	I, You, Him, Us

**Author's Note:**

> \- Just because Bongson is so cute to resist ♡

2019

The night was quite young when Youngtaek and Jaehyun walked out from from university. The festival hadn't ended yet, but Jaehyun felt his head pounding from the loud blasting of music. He's usually okay with that, but he had pulled all-nighter the day before and it affect him. He felt sluggish.

"You know I can go home by my own." Jaehyun was apologetic to Youngtaek. The older man seemed to enjoy the festival but was forced to leave early because of him.

Youngtaek made a 'tsk' sound and ruffled Jaehyun's hair. "No need to say sorry. The music is not that good after all."

Jaehyun knew it's a lie. The music was Youngtaek's type of music. He caught Youngtaek bopping his head according to rhythm just a while ago. He felt apologetic, but deep down his heart fluttered at Youngtaek's caring side. 

"Why are you smiling?"

Ignoring Youngtaek's question, Jaehyun looked around them and made sure no one was paying attention before he gave his boyfriend a kiss on the lips.

Youngtaek blinked at the sudden skinship. "Uh.. What's that for?"

"I can't kiss my boyfriend now?" Jaehyun cheekily asked.

Youngtaek laughed in disbelieve. "You must have messed up your head from the all-nighter. I've told you shouldn't sleep at dawn."

Jaehyun laughed as they continued walking. The wind was cold, and although they've worn their padding jackets, the cold wind was strong enough to make them feel the chill. At some point Youngtaek took his hand, intertwined their fingers and put them inside his coat pocket. 

"Why is it so cold? It's crazy," Youngtaek complained.

"Because it's winter, idiot."

Youngtaek nudged him with his shoulder. "You're annoying, I'm going to ditch you-"

Youngtaek's phone suddenly vibrated. Still keeping their intertwined hands together, he took the phone with his free hand.

"Yo, Seungminah. What's up?"

"What so you mean Jihoo can't make it? Sprained ankle? No shit.."

Jaehyun saw Youngtaek stole a glance at him while listening to Seungmin through the phone. He already had guessed what Seungmin was talking about. 

"Yeah. Hm, I don't know. I'm still not far from uni, but- You know, Jihoo's mostly at the back so.."

Jaehyun shakes his hand in front of Youngtaek's face, trying to get attention from the man and when Youngtaek looked at him, he mouthed "Just go."

Youngtaek frowned. "Wait a sec," He told Seungmin and pulled the phone away from his ears. "What did you say?"

"Seungmin wants you to join the performance isn't it?" Jaehyun said. "Just go back and join them. I know you want it. Don't mind me I can go back by myself."

Youngtaek sighed. "Jaehyun, it's not-"

"Just go," Jaehyun pressed on. He smiled to assure the other man that he's fine. It'll be a bit lonely and cold if he walks home alone, but their place is not that far anyway. He'll feel worse if he stop Youngtaek to do what he wanted to do.

"But you-"

"I'm only a bit dizzy, I'm not going to faint," Jaehyun pulled his hand from Youngtaek's pocket. "Go back or I'll be angry," He faked a serious expression. Youngtaek stared at him for a few seconds before starting to laugh breathlessly. He brought the phone back to his ears. "Hey Seungmin-ah, I'll be there in 10 minutes."

Youngtaek was still smiling when he ended his phone. He pulled the smaller man into a tight hig. "Thanks Jaehyun-ah, really."

"You're always exaggerating," Jaehyun dismissed him. "Quickly.. Go.."

"Okay, see you."

Jaehyun waved his hands, and he stood there for a while watching Youngtaek ran with his long legs. He unconsciously smiled. 

*****

Jaehyun heaved a relief sigh when he entered his apartment.

"I'm home," he mumbled quietly, feeling drained. He took his shoes off, and hung his coat messily on the hanger. 

"You look drunk." 

A messy haired Jibeom with thick rimmed glasses greeted him. The man's shirt is crumpled as well as his shorts. He probably just took the clothes from the dryer and immediately put them on.

"You look awful," He retorted back. Jibeom's nose flared. The man strode forward and gave him a headlock. 

Jaehyun laughed. "Jibeom stop!" 

He was still laughing when Jibeom released him. "I'm just joking geez."

Jibeom's face still looked annoyed, but Jaehyun knew he's not really annoyed. "Where's Youngtaek?"

"Stuck there,"Jaehyun walked inside and dropped himself on the sofa. "Have to replace someone for a performance."

There's a brief pause before Jibeom talked. "Are you fine?"

"A bit dizzy," Jaehyun mumbled, covering his eyes with his arm. "Probably lack of sleep."

Jibeom clicked his tongue but didn't ask more. The sofa dipped and the next thing happened, Jibeom massaged his temples with his hands. Jaehyun hummed in appreciation.

"Is it good?"

"It's perfect."

"You can't sleep here. Go change and sleep on the bed," Jibeom talked softly.

"Lazy to walk."

"You know I can't carry you to the bed."

"Because you're weak and never exercise."

"Like you ever exercise too."

They both chuckled.

"Come on, I'll help you."

Jaehyun let Jibeom pull him up and drag him to the bathroom. He felt much better after brushing teeth and wash his face. He was already climbing to the bed he saw the table was full of books some of them were opened. 

"Were you studying when I came?"

"Yes, I did," Jibeom answered while following him to the bed.

"Have you finished studying?" He asked again as Jibeom lay down beside him.

"No."

"Then?"

Jibeom lay on his side and hugged his waist. "I can continue to study tomorrow."

Jaehyun chuckled. "It's weird coming out from a model student like you."

Jibeom pursed his lips. "Youngtaek always hog you for himself. Now that he's not around, I want to hog you for myself."

"So childish," Jaehyun snorted.

"But you love me," Jibeom grinned cheekily.

"I do," Jaehyun admitted. He closed his eyes when Jibeom leaned down and captured his lips. Jaehyun grinned when they pulled apart. He rubbed Jibeom's cheek affectionately.

For a while, they snuggled together, until Jaehyun felt drowsiness slowly took over his body.  
"Jibeomie.."

"Hm?"

"Turn off the lamp please."

Jibeom's face suddenly turned sour. 

"Seriously."

*****

2017

Jaehyun glanced at his phone and huffed. Youngtaek was late for almost an hour. His phone was unreachable, and text messages were left unread. He's started to get irritated. He promised Youngtaek will pay for this, he'll make Youngtaek treat him expensive meal.

A few minutes later that felt like eternity, Youngtaek burst through the cafe entrance dramatically, earning attention from some customers and waitress. Jaehyun facepalmed. Youngtaek immediately spotted him, probably because his silver hair, and waved frantically at him. 

Jaehyun's complain was drowned in his mouth when he noticed a stranger behind Youngtaek's back. The man was young, a medium height, with messy hair, a bit shorter than Youngtaek, wearing black pants and blue jeans jacket. Seemed like he's the same age as him.

"Jaehyun-ah, I'm so soorryy. I swear, I can explain."

Youngtaek sat down, and the stranger looked hesitant but decided to sit beside Youngtaek as well.

"Uh, who is he?" Jaehyun asked.

At the question, Youngtaek looked at the stranger, looked like he'd just realized that the man's presence. 

"Oh, this is Jibeom. And he's one the reason why I'm late."

The Jibeom guy was startled. "W-what? Why me?"

"Don't blame other people!" Jaehyun frowned. He knew his best friend slash his flat mate. Youngtaek was staying at a friend's place for a few days. They probably had too much fun last night and overslept.

"I am not!"

"Why am I the reason you're late?" Jibeom complained.

"Well.. You see, this Jibeom was a middle school friend and we met during reunion yesterday. I've told you I had middle school reunion right. So we're about to go home, it was cold Jibeom is so stupid he left his jacket in the bus and I kindly lend him my jacket-"

"I said I was fine but you insisted!" Jibeom defended himself, which was ignored by Youngtaek.

"Since my jacket was thick enough so I just gave him my padding. I thought I should do it since he had just moved from Busan and still not familiar with Seoul. I just can't let him wandering in cold."

"And he dumbly forgot he put his phone in the padding pocket," Jibeom talked to him for the first time.

Jaehyun sighed. "That's why you didn't pick up my phone nor read my messages."

"The phone died, probably low battery," Jibeom informed him.

"I should have expected that," Jaehyun eyed his best friend wryly.

"I went up early and went to Jibeom's place. I've knocked and all but he didn't answer me."

Jibeom rubbed his head. "I'm quite a heavy sleeper. I didn't hear the knock."

"I've almost broken your door," Youngtaek complained hotly and turned his head to Jaehyun. "You know one of his neighbor, and old lady came out and scolded me and reported me to the security. The security questioned me, and almost threw me outside! I explained that I know Jibeom so the security knocked on his door again. We called so many times and there's no respond, so we're worried if he's dead or something."

"So what happened?" Jaehyun unconsciously was immersed to the story and forgot his annoyance towards his best friend."

"The security broke Jibeom's door."

"What?"

"My door is broken because of you."

"And found Jibeom sleeping in his room."

"How can you sleep with those noise?" Jaehyun asked the stranger.

"He used earplugs," Youngtaek glared at Jibeom.

Jibeom glared back. "I snore and my snore sometimes wakes me up so I use earplugs. Do you have problem with that?"

There's a brief of silence before Jaehyun and Youngtaek suddenly broke into laughter.

"H-Hey-" Jibeom's ears turned red. "Calm down will you?"

"You're woken up by your own snore? Is it even possible?" Youngtaek said between his laughter. Jaehyun clutched the table, laughing breathlessly, earning a pout from Jibeom. It's kind of rude for laughing but he can't help it.

Jibeom didn't look happy but sulking quietly, his ears were still burning red. Amidst his laughter, Jaehyun thought an embarrassed Jibeom looked adorable.

*****

Jarhyun was so used to be with Youngtaek. Usually it's just two of them in their shared flat, hanging out, trying new cafes, visiting farms and ski resorts for holiday. Lately, Jibeom would join them too. Youngtaek was fond of Jibeom, and Jaehyun too. Who won't like Jibeom. The guy was kind, always willing to be victim of their ridicule and never got angry. 

Jibeom was also funny. He said things, especially when he accidentally burst out in satoori, that would make Jaehyun and Youngtaek cried from laughing. His big eyes were so expressive and Jaehyun often found himself drowned in those eyes. Jaehyun admitted that adored Jibeom. He might even like Jibeom.

"You snore very loudly," Jaehyun told Jibeom one day. They're sharing room in a mountain villa they rented for the long weekend break. There were only 2 rooms. It was started with a joke about Jibeom's snoring habit, and Youngtaek won rock scissors paper against him.

"You know you and Youngtaek can share a room and let me sleep alone with my snore. You brought this upon yourself."

Jaehyun didn't answer since Jibeom was right. He's sprawled on the dining table beside his juice. His head was a bit heavy from lacking sleep. Youngtaek hadn't come out from his room, he must be still sleeping.

"Sorry."

Jaehyun shot his head up. Jibeom sounded serious, he looked serious too. 

"W-what?"

Jibeom sighed tiredly, his shoulders sagged. "You know it's not that I want to snore. I honestly went to doctor, and consider getting treatment."

Jaehyun was left speechless. He had no intention at all to make Jibeom felt bad. It dawned to him of how insensitive he and Youngtaek were. Every time they made fun of Jibeom's snoring problem, it was purely as a joke. And all this time, Jibeom only laughed, he didn't think Jibeom would think about it much.

"H-hey, Jibeom.. I didn't mean to offend you," He stuttered. "I understand some people snores, I mean that's fine, sometimes I snore too. I'm just not used to it."

Jibeom smiled weakly. "That's ok. Doctor said there's something on my breathing so I really need to get it fixed anyway."

"O-oh.. Is that so?"

"Hm," Jibeom nodded, his body relaxed as he smiled wider. "There's a big chance I can get it fixed. I won't need earplugs anymore."

Jaehyun chuckled weakly, torn between Jibeom's funny statement and guilt.

"Don't stare at me like that-," Jibeom said. 

Suddenly there's a sound of door clicking and a few seconds later Youngtaek stumbled to the kitchen, walking aimlessly like a zombie. The tall lanky guy draped his arms around Jaehyun.

"Jaehyun-ah, give me some water."

Annoyed, Jaehyun pushed Youngtaek to the side. "Aish! What are you doing? There's water right in front of you! Take it by yourself!"

Youngtaek must be still so sleepy that he didn't attack back. Instead, he took the water jar and poured water to an empty glass. The water spilled on the table, but Youngtaek didn't seem to notice. After gulping down the whole content of his glass, Youngtaek staggered away, and a few seconds later he entered his room again.

"What was that?" Jibeom asked in amazement.

Jaehyun scrunched his nose, wiping the spilled water with tissue. "He's always like that when he lacks sleep, like a zombie. He must have had anime marathon last night. Probably One Piece."

Jibeom raised his brows. "Oh. You know him so well."

"I've known him with him for 5 years, and he's my flat mate for 2 years," Jaehyun said calmly. "I know his weird habits, and his weird habits are seriously weird."

Jibeom quietly nodded. "He's also a unique friend since middle school. The lanky one and always fussy."

Jaehyun snorted. "Lanky and fussy.. You described him well."

They fell into silence after that, before Jibeom asked again. "Hey, are you free next Saturday?"

Jaehyun's ears perked out. What did Jibeom want from him next Saturday? Suddenly he felt nervous. When Jibeom asked him that, it felt like Jibeom is asking him out for a date.

"Uhmm," He stuttered. "I don't think I have plan."

"Do you want to watch Captain Marvel with me next Saturday?"

"Uhh.. But next Saturday Youngtaek will go back to Jeonju to visit his parents."

Jaehyun wanted to smack himself. Jibeom's smile faltered, but a few seconds later Jibeom smiled wide again. "We can watch together, just the two of us. If you want to of course. One of my friend watched it and he said it's an awesome movie."

"Oh..," Jaehyun tried to hold back a smile, trying not to look too excited. "If that so.. Yeah, sure. I want to watch it too."

Jibeom smiled so wide that his eyes disappeared, Jaehyun felt his heart thumping even more. The thought of Jibeom feeling happy to go out with him made his body fly to cloud nine.

*****

Youngtaek complained when he knew they made plan on their own, but the plan went as they planned anyway. To compensate it, they sent a grumbling Youngtaek to the train station before they went to watch movie.

"I can't believe you're plotting a scheme behind my back," Youngtaek sulked for the nth time that day. "You're having fun here while I have to go back home and meet my grandma who will lecture me for hours."

Jaehyun rolled his eyes. "Stop complaining. Thankfully Jibeom is here. You leave me during weekend and you expect me to sit nicely but bored at home?"

Youngtaek pouted but didn't argue. "Fine. Hey, Jibeom. Please take care of Jaehyun, yeah? He can be clumsy and sometimes trip on his own feet. And don't offer to treat him lunch because he eats like a buff-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence as Jaehyun had already attacked him, trying to wrestle with him. "Shut up!"

Youngtaek laughed and the atmosphere turned more cheerful. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding."

Jibeom grinned. "Don't worry, Taek. I'll take care of Jaehyun while you're away."

Jibeom said that casually but Jaehyun felt hot in embarrassment, “Yah! Don't talk like I'm a kid."

Both Jibeom and Youngtaek laughed. The lanky guy said, "But you throw tantrum like a kid. Like what you're doing now."

"You're annoying," Jaehyun sighed pitifully. Youngtaek laughed again and pulled his best friend to an exaggerating tight hug.

"I'll miss my little baby," He cooed, ignoring Jaehyun's kick. "I'll bring you guys souvenirs ok."

Jibeom and Jaehyun stood side by side and waved to Youngtaek as the train started to move. 

"So, kid, are you ready to go?" Jibeom teased him.

"Not you too," Jaehyun sighed but nodded. "Youngtaek is really a bad influence."

"He really spoils you a lot huh," Jibeom said casually, putting his hands inside his pocket.

"Youngtaek only has an older sister but he said he badly wants a younger sibling that's why he treats me like that. I'm just a few months younger anyway."

"That's cute," Jibeom grinned at him, and somehow Jaehyun flushed.

It's real. He's really alone with Jibeom now. Suddenly he felt conscious. He checked his outfit, whether he had flied up his pant's zipper, whether he had buttoned his shirt. His hands touched his hair, combing to it make sure he's presentable.

"Your hair is nice enough," Jibeom commented, as if he knew what's in his mind. Jaehyun awkwardly dropped his hands.

"Uh, yeah, just to make sure.."

"Anyway," Jibeom still grinning. He looked happy. "I met doctor yesterday, and we planned to get surgery as soon as possible."

"Surgery?" Jaehyun gasped. "Why do you need surgery?"

"Relax, it's just a small surgery," Jibeom laughed. "I had broken nose when I was small. It apparently messed up with my nose structure and my breathing. Doctor said he just needs to do a little fixing. Nothing serious."

Jaehyun blinked. "I see. Wow, I've never thought it would be that serious.. It's… Well, I hope everything is fine."

Jibeom nodded. "I've told my parents too, they told me just to get surgery."

"So when will you have surgery?"

"I haven't decided yet. But probably during semester break."

"Semester break is only 2 weeks away."

"Yeah, I can't wait to sleep without my earplugs. Hey, while I'm on it, should I tell doctor to make my nose bridge higher?

Jaehyun burst laughing. Jibeom grinned, satisfied with the respond of his joke.

"Come on, we better walk faster, or else we'll be late." Jibeom dragged him to the movie theater. 

There was a long queue when they reached. Jaehyun looked at his watch in worry. "Can we make it on time?"

Jibeom only replied his worry with an easy smile. "Don't worry. Just stand here, I'll go and get some snacks for us."

Jibeom's laxness eased Jaehyun a bit. He nodded. While queuing, his eyes followed Jibeom. He unconsciously smiled. Talking with Jibeom is so easy. Even when they met for the first time, it's not awkward. Jibeom made everything easy like they're old friends.

In the end, their outing turned out great. They entered the studio on time, and after watching movie, they hit the arcade and followed with dinner in Japanese restaurant. After dinner, Jibeom insisted to send him home. Jaehyun really thought it's like a date.

"Thanks, today is great."

He's grinning ear to ear. Jibeom had successfully made him laughed all the way home. He believed his face were all flushed. Jibeom also grinning wide, showing his pearly teeth.

"I had great time too," Jibeom said. "We should do it again next time."

"Yeah, we should," Jaehyun didn't hesitate to answer. He really looked forward to their next meeting with Jibeom. 

For a while, they fell silent. Jaehyun wanted to let Jibeom to go in, but he wasn't sure to do it. They had been out since morning and it's quite late already. But he still didn't feel like separating. 

"Do you want to come in? To drink or something?" He finally offered the guy.

"No, it's ok, it's late anyway."

Jaehyun nodded, slightly disappointed. "Okay. So I'll see you around?"

Jibeom smiled. "Yeah."

"Be careful on your way home."

"I will," Jibeom stepped back. "Go in."

They waved to each other and parted. Jaehyun still had a burst of excitement in his chest when he entered his flat. Smile was still on his face. He had always had fun when Jibeom is around, but they're always with Youngtaek. This time it felt different.

When he finished taking shower, his phone vibrated. His eyes sparkled when he saw the sender name.

_I've arrived safely. Thanks again for today._

He giggled to his phone.

_I had fun too. Thanks for paying for the meal._

_No problem. You didn't eat a lot unlike what Youngtaek said._

Jaehyun laughed again.

_You're lucky in on diet. I usually eat a lot._

_You don't need to go on diet. You look great like this._

Jaehyun had to bit his lips to stop himself from squealing. 

_It's not an intense diet, don't worry._

_Glad to hear_ , Jibeom replied. _Anyway, I know it's sudden. But since Youngtaek is away, maybe you want to have brunch tomorrow?_

Jaehyun had been looking forward to meet Jibeom again. He didn't expect it would be so soon. He must have been thinking for too long that Jibeom sent him another message before he could replied.

_But no pressure, really. Maybe you have other things to do. It's really fine._

Jibeom's consideration made him smile. He immediately replied.

_A brunch will be great. I haven't buy groceries for tomorrow so I have nothing to eat for breakfast._

_Great. We should have bought groceries today. I only have an egg for tomorrow too. We can go together tomorrow for groceries if you want._

_Sure. Awesome._

_So, I'll pick you up tomorrow at 9?_

_We can meet somewhere, no need to pick me up._

_But it's merrier to walk together._

_Alright._

They bid each other good night. Jaehyun stared at his phone for a while, reading Jibeom's 'good night' for a few times along with cute emoji. He slept with a smile on his face.

*****

Jaehyun and Jibeom exchanged text often since then. Jaehyun couldn't deny that his attraction towards Jibeom was getting stronger each day. He had a feeling that Jibeom probably liked him too. He could be wrong, he hoped he's not wrong.

"You're on your phone so often lately."

Jaehyun jumped from the couch. Youngtaek eyed him weirdly from the other side of the couch. 

"What?"

Youngtaek popped another crackers into his mouth. "Who are you texting?"

"Uh… Donghyun.. We're.. talking about our assignment."

Youngtaek scoffed. "You know Jaehyun, you should stop lying you're so obvious. You're grinning like a fool just now. You won't be grinning when texting Donghyun."

"I didn't!"

"Yeah yeah," Youngtaek brushed him off. "So tell me who is it."

Jaehyun sighed. He hadn't told Youngtaek about Jibeom yet, and he knew Jibeom hadn't too because if he did, Youngtaek must have nagged him about it. He didn't want to make things awkward between them, especially things were still uncertain with Jibeom, but he felt bad from hiding it from Youngtaek.

"It's Jibeom," He admit quietly.

Youngtaek looked surprised. "Jibeomie?"

"Yeah."

"What does he want?"

Jaehyun shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. "Just talking."

"Do you often talk to him?"

"Yeah, well, we met in the other day, and we hang out together."

Youngtaek was still looking at him seriously. "Do you like him?"

He didn't answer, but his awkward expression and flushed face was enough answer for Youngtaek.

"Wow," Youngtaek chuckled. "It's kinda unexpected."

Jaehyun scratched his nape. "Yeah, I didn't expect it too."

"So.. Are you together or something?"

"No, no, we're not together," Jaehyun quickly shook his head. 

"No not yet, or no?" Youngtaek had abandoned his crackers so he must be serious right now.

"I don't know."

"Does he like you too?"

Jaehyun threw a cushion to Youngtaek. "You can't ask this kind of thing to me, you know that."

"He didn't?" Youngtaek was unfazed. Jaehyun frowned.

"Maybe?" He bit his lips in embarrassment. "I mean I don't want to be overly positive. But I think he does. Or at least he finds that I'm a good friend?"

Youngtaek scanned his face for a few moment and relaxed back on the couch. It suddenly dawned to Jaehyun that Youngtaek didn't look really happy.

"Hey," Jaehyun called his best friend softly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. We're just getting to know each other and I really don't know where we're heading to, so I didn't tell you yet, to avoid making things awkward between the three of us."

Youngtaek glanced at him, and sighed. "It's not that.."

Jaehyun bit his lips in anticipation. "You're still my best friend, you know, you'll always be."

Youngtaek stared at him for a good 5 seconds before bursting into laughter. "I know, I know. You're so funny hahaha."

Dumbfounded, Jaehyun hit Youngtaek lightly. "You scared me."

He let Youngtaek pulled him to the side, and he snuggled against Youngtaek. His best friend was so lanky, but his shoulders were broad, he felt comfortable snuggled on Youngtaek's shoulder. 

"I'm sorry, I'm just worried."

"Worried for what?"

"For you.. Having heartbreak."

Jaehyun scoffed, but he couldn't help but smile at Youngtaek's care towards him.

"Even if I have heartbreak, you will be there for me so it's okay."

Youngtaek pushed Jaehyun's head with his finger. "Be careful of what you're saying."

Jaehyun giggled. 

"But I'm glad it's Jibeom," Youngtaek said quietly. "I know him, he's a good guy."

There's something weird in Youngtaek's tone. Jaehyun noticed it but he didn't think further about it. At the moment, he only felt relieved that he had no more secret from Youngtaek.

*****

Jaehyun squirmed on the couch. It was late at night but Youngtaek hadn't gone home yet. Youngtaek sometimes went home late after dance practice, but this time he couldn't wait for him to home. He couldn't wait to tell Youngtaek the big news.

Jibeom had officially asked him for a date. Finally, after 2 months hanging out together. He had said yes of course. In fact, he might have answered too quickly and too full of enthusiasm. It's his first time in his life dating someone. He still felt giddy.

Youngtaek came home at 10, hair disheveled. The man looked surprised to see Jaehyun running towards him.

"Whoaa.. What's this?"

"Me and Jibeom are dating now!" He told Youngtaek with small jumps. "He asked me out today."

Youngtaek stared at him expressionless. Jaehyun was a bit disappointed but maybe Youngtaek was tired. His smile wavered.

"Ohh," Youngtaek finally said. "Congratulations."

Jaehyun's smile completely vanished. "Taek, are you okay? Is there something wrong?"

Youngtaek sighed, and this time put an effort to smile although it's a forced one. "No, I'm sorry.. I'm just.. I had a bad day and.. Don't mind me. I sincerely congratulate you. You make cute couple. Really."

Jaehyun wasn't convinced. He knew something's wrong with Youngtaek. "Are you sure?" He trailed after his best friend who walked towards the kitchen.

"Yeah, Jaehyun, I'm okay," Youngtaek said after dawning a glass of water. The taller man looked at his best friend and suddenly felt guilty. "LIsten, I'm really happy for you, I do. I hope I can celebrate it with you today, but I'm really… really not in the mood right now. Let's celebrate some other time yeah?"

Jaehyun bit his lips, feeling bad and guilty to make Youngtaek felt guilty during his bad day "Taek, I understand. And.. I'm sorry," He said earnestly. "I.. I hope your problems get resolved soon."

Youngtaek smiled wearily and sighed. The older man walked straight to Jaehyun and pulled him into a hug. 

"T-taek?"

"Jaehyun-ah…" Youngtaek said. His tone was like wanting to say something. Jaehyun waited, but Youngtaek didn't say anything.

He circled his arms around Youngtaek's body. "Taek," He called softly. "Do you want to talk?"

For almost half a minute, Youngtaek didn't answer. Jaehyun let him be. He leaned his head on Youngtaek's shoulder, hoping that the simple gesture could give mental support to his best friend.

"Let me hug you for a while."

Jaehyun gripped Youngtaek's clothes tightly. His heart was in chaos, he's thinking worst possibilities. Despite always being weird and extra, Youngtaek was a sensitive person who often mask his problems under extraness. Watching Youngtaek showing his vulnerable side of him, it meant his problem was serious. He badly wanted to know what's the problem, hoping he could help Youngtaek to solve it. He felt helpless. At the moment, what he could do was just to give comfort to his friend.

"Okay," He said. "Let's stay like this as log as you want."

*****

Youngtaek seemed to be better the next day, although he's still acting strange, like he's drifting away. There's a weird feeling that Youngtaek was avoiding him. He didn't know why, he had tried so many times to reflect, but he didn't see anything he had done wrong to Youngtaek. It hurt when Youngtaek openly laughed with his other friends but not with him.

A week later, Youngtaek suddenly insisted to treat him and Jibeom some pizza to celebrate, but Jaehyun still got the feeling of awkwardness. He hated that he had something happy to celebrate while Youngtaek was struggling.

Even Jibeom felt Youngtaek's odd aura.

"Have you talked to him?" Jibeom asked quietly asked when Youngtaek went to bathroom.

"He didn't say a thing," Jaehyun frowned. "Maybe he had problems with his dance club. Whatever it is, I hope he gets over it soon."

"Yeah," Jibeom nodded. "I tried to bait him on, but he didn't say anything to me too."

Jaehyun pouted. "Youngtaek is weird but this weirdness is worrying."

Jibeom smiled and ruffled Jaehyun's head. "Stop pouting, you look ugly like that."

"What?" 

Jibeom laughed freely, dodging Jaehyun's attack. They're always like this even before officially dating. They would talk normally and the next second later they'll bicker. However, Jibeom enjoyed bickering with Jaehyun. The older man's reaction is always priceless. In fact, he often purposely makes Jaehyun annoyed just to see that adorable reaction.

"Shut it guys."

Jibeom and Jaehyun immediately pulled away. Youngtaek was watching at them with sour expression. "Remember you knocked on my cola and stained the rug because of your childish bickering?"

Jibeom grinned guiltily. "But I changed the rug right?"

Youngtaek sat down, still looking unhappy. "But I love that rug."

"Don't be angry anymore," Jibeom cooed, but a second later his expression brightened. "Hey, do you want to watch concert next weekend? The one we saw the banner last time? It's your favorite band right? I have a friend working in the organizer. Maybe I can pull some string and beg him to give us good ticket and maybe backstage pass."

Youngtaek's eye comically widened. "Seriously?"

"I actually asked him already. He said no promise, but he can work on it."

"I want to! I want to!"

Jaehyun quietly watching at the side with a small smile. It's been a while since he saw Youngtaek being energetic and bouncing on his heel like that. It's good that his beat friend reacted on this positively. He and Jibeom hoped this can at least cheered him a bit.

"I'll contact him tonight," Jibeom told Youngtaek. The oldest of the three was still looking overwhelmed.

"It's crazy, awesome. Jibeom, do you know I love you so much right now? You might be annoying but I'll remember this for the rest of my life."

"No problem," Jibeom grinned. "So I can replace his position as your bestie?"

Jibeom pointed at Jaehyun with his thumb, the latter swatted his hand. "What do you mean? Of course you can't replace me as Taekkie's bestie!"

"If you don't stop being annoying I might consider Jibeom's offer," Youngtaek chided.

Jaehyun immediately froze. He knew Youngtaek was just kidding, but it suddenly clicked in his mind. Youngtaek's weird behavior.. Was Youngtaek trying to get away from him? Had Youngtaek started to dislike him and get rid of him?

"Hey, I'm kidding," Youngtaek said again, noticing Jaehyun's sudden change of expression.

Jibeom turned his attention to him again. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Trying to erase his negative thought, Jaehyun shook his head. "Nothing."

"Jaehyun," Jibeom called, not buying his excuse.

"I'm fine," He frowned and stood up. "I'll go to bathroom."

He immediately walked away, not noticing Youngtaek's stare on his back.

*****

Both of him and Youngtaek tried to fix their friendship. But for Jaehyun, Youngtaek was not the same anymore. He noticed how Youngtaek worked so hard to mend their awkwardness, but that made him hurt. Since when Youngtaek had to be cautious around him? They had been friends for so long that they can say and do anything they wants in front of each other. It's like there's a wall between them.

"Ya Jaehyun, why are you still here?" Youngtaek asked after finding his best friend was sitting nicely on the couch, watching TV while eating ice cream.

He had expected Jaehyun to have gone out when he finished showering. He remembered Jaehyun told him he's going with Jibeom somewhere. 

"It's cancelled."

Youngtaek stopped drying his hair with towel and sat down beside Jaehyun.

"Oh. Why?"

"He only told me briefly. Something about missing file for his project."

Youngtaek groaned. "It sucks."

Jaehyun nodded. He was disappointed of the cancelled date, and the problem sounded severe. Jibeom would be busy for the next few days. But actually it's not bad if he could spend some time with Youngtaek. He hadn't spend time with his best friend lately. Not only because he often went out with Jibeom, but also Youngtaek started to mingle more with his school friends.

"Hey, Taek, do you want to go out?"

"Right now?"

"Yes."

Jaehyun, as he expected, saw doubt flickering on Youngtaek's eyes. 

"Please?" He tried again. "It's been a long time since we go out together."

Youngtaek snorted in a joking manner. "It's because you're always with Jibeom."

Jaehyun wanted to retort that Youngtaek also often went out with his other friends, but decided not to. "I'm sorry."

The taller man glanced at him and sighed. "Why are you sorry. So where are we going?"

Jaehyun's face brightened, happy that Youngtaek agreed. "Let's walk around Hongdae and have some snacks? Or maybe we can go to comic cafe?"

"I want to go to comic cafe," Youngtaek said.

"Okay." At that point, Jaehyun was willing to do anything Youngtaek wanted. Anything as long as Youngtaek is happy.

*****

Jaehyun walked to his shared flat lightly while whistling. His day had been great so far. His last class was cancelled so he could come back early. He had been thinking what could he do to enjoy Friday evening when he unlocked the door.

His brows furrowed at the foreign pair of shoes on the doorway. It's unusual for Youngtaek to invite his friends to come. 

"Jaehyun, you're early!" Youngtaek greeted him by the door. He frowned deeper. Youngtaek looked frantic, like hiding something from him. He peeked past Youngtaek's shoulders, and since his flat was relatively small, he immediately found a stranger on the living room.

"Is he your friend?" Jaehyun asked unsurely.

"He.. Uhmm.."

Jaehyun's frown got deepened. "Taek.."

The stranger saved them from the awkward atmosphere. "Hi, you must be Jaehyun. I'm Hong Joochan, I'm the one who called yesterday. I'm interested in sharing flat."

Jaehyun was taken aback. "Wait.. renting? But we-" His words halted as realization dawned upon him. He looked wide eyed at Youngtaek. The older man refused to meet his eyes and bowed his head. "Oh."

Joochan seemed clueless at the tension. The boy smiled brightly. "I like it here. Neighborhood is nice and it's near the campus. But I'll need to see alternatives and discuss it with my parents first. I'll contact you soon."

"Yeah," Youngtaek weakly said.

Jaehyun watched silently as Youngtaek sent Joochan to the door. By the time Joochan left and Youngtaek closed the door behind him, his body was shaking. Fear, anger and betrayal mixed into one. 

"What was that Taek?" He growled to his best friend. "You're moving out?? Without telling me beforehand??"

Youngtaek bowed his head. It made Jaehyun even angrier.

"Youngtaek!" Jaehyun shouted, tears started to come out. "I can't believe you do that! What happened? Whey are you like this? If you're tired of me, you should just say it! It hurts you know!"

Youngtaek raised his head up. "Jaehyun, it's not like that!"

"Then what?" Jaehyun snapped. "Then why are you trying so hard to avoid me, to get rid of me? And don't say you didn't because it's so fucking obvious!"

"I'm not trying to get rid of you, Jaehyun!" Youngtaek shouted back. 

"Then why are you acting strange around me? Why are you avoiding me? And now why do you want to move away??"

Youngtaek kept silent although the rapid rise and down on his chest showed his troubled mind. His silence made Jaehyun cried even more. However, he didn't want Youngtaek to know how broken he was. It's funny, he felt like being dumped.

He waited for a few heartbeat before he decided that he couldn't stay in the same room with Youngtaek anymore. He grabbed his bag and walked angrily. When he walked past Youngtaek, the taller man held his hand, which he instantly shoved away.

"Jaehyun, wait."

He didn't want to listen to Youngtaek. He's too angry.

"Jaehyun!" Youngtaek pestering him. Jaehyun ignored him and trying to quickly wear his shoes. His tears fell on his shoes leaving wet patches. He hoped Youngtaek didn't see it.

Youngtaek lost his patience and grabbed his arm rather hard this time, forcing the younger man to look at him. Youngtaek looked stunned at his teary face. Jaehyun scowled and immediately wiped his tears. 

Without any word, he shrugged Youngtaek's hands away, but the older man didn't budge.

"Get your hands off-"

"I do this because I love you."

Jaehyun froze. Youngtaek looked at him intensely for a few seconds before he bowed his head down. 

"I love you so much that it hurts to see you loving other guy."

Strange. The feeling was strange. Youngtaek's face were burning red. Jaehyun knew that Youngtaek was not lying. Youngtaek sucks in lying. Youngtaek was telling the truth.

"W-what?"

Slowly, Youngtaek released his arm. The taller man shifted awkwardly on his spot. His expression was like he's mad at himself.

"I've loved you since a long time ago. I'm too cowardly to confess to you, and everything was so easy back then. We're always together, it was enough for me. That was until Jibeom came into the picture."

Jaehyun silently listened to his best friend. He still couldn't believe it. He must have heard it wrong. His best friend.. Youngtaek.. loves him? 

Suddenly it dawned to him that he liked the idea of Youngtaek loving him. Suddenly his heart was pounding fast, like when he had his first date with Jibeom. What's that?

"I feel like I'm losing you," Youngtaek kept on talking. "And I'm jealous. Yes I did. And it makes me feel shitty. I can't be a best friend who help you pick cool clothes for your date, I can't be a best friend who listen to your ramblings about Jibeom, and I can't bring myself to congratulate you sincerely. I hate that. I want to be there, Jaehyun, I want to be a best frind you can count on. That's why.. I think it's better for me to leave. To cool my head and maybe find someone so I can forget my feeling for you. And by the time I can get over you... If you still want me… I promise I'll be your bestest friend ever."

Why did it hurt when Youngtaek said he wanted to find someone to get over him? He didn't want Youngtaek get over him. He didn't want Youngtaek to leave.

"I'm sorry, Jaehyun.."

Jaehyun wanted to reach Youngtaek and hug him. But did he have right to do it? He had bring so much pain to Youngtaek, and he couldn't accept Youngtaek. He had Jibeom. 

But he wanted Youngtaek.

At the same time, he loved Jibeom.

He didn't know what to do.

*****

Youngtaek stayed at Seungmin's place since then. He didn't know whether Hong Joochan still wanted the flat or not, but so far the boy hadn't come to the flat again.

He's lonely.

He's so stressed out.

He wanted Youngtaek back.

"You know you can talk to me," Jibeom said quietly. 

They'd been sitting on the living room couch for almost half an hour in silence. Jaehyun guiltily looked at Jibeom. It's unfair for Jibeom too, but he couldn't even pretend to be happy. He had given silent treatment to innocent Jibeom. And he felt guilty for wanting another man.

"I'm sorry Jibeom-ah."

Jibeom sighed. "Is it about Youngtaek?"

Jaehyun flinched at the mention of his ex best friend. Jibeom sighed again. "What had actually happen between the two of you?"

Jaehyun swallowed hard, didn't know how to respond. Should he tell Jibeom about Youngtaek's confession? His griped his own hands tight.

"It's been two weeks," Jibeom said. "You can't continue to be like this."

It's unfair to Jibeom. He had been unfaithful to Jibeom.

"Then let's end this."

Jibeom gaped. Jaehyun felt his heart stopped at the words coming from his own mouth. He didn't want to break up with Jibeom, but was tired, and he was being emotional. 

"W-what did you say?"

Jaehyun sat still, suddenly feeling scared to even move. A moment of tension passed before Jibeom asked again. "Did you mean it?"

Another silence, and it apparently ticked Jibeom off. "Why? What have I done wrong?"

"It's not you, it's me," He said quickly. His answer didn't satisfy Jibeom. The man got even more irritated.

"That's stupid! At least tell me the reason!"

Jibeom grabbed Jaehyun's shoulders when the latter didn't respond. "Jaehyun," He exasperatedly called. "Jaehyun, don't be like this. Let's talk. Tell me what's wrong, I'll try to fix it. Please."

Fresh batch of tears rolled on Jaehyun's cheeks. It was hard enough for him, and listening to Jibeom's pleading voice hurt him even more. It's not Jibeom's fault, it's his. Jibeom deserved explanation. He had to explain so Jibeom won't blame himself. 

His hands were shaking, thinking of Jibeom's reaction. He's afraid. 

"I.. I…"

Jibeom squeezed his arms gently as if to encourage him. Jaehyun took a deep shaky breath before he braced himself to look at Jibeom right in the eyes.

"I like someone else."

Jibeom's expression suddenly hardened. His big eyes stared at him intently, lips pressed into a thin line. Jaehyun felt his grip on his arms slackened.

"I'm sorry."

Jibeom's hand fell lifelessly on his side.

"Who?" Jibeom asked softly. 

"…"

"Is it Youngtaek?"

Jaehyun snapped his head up in shock. How did Jibeom know? Jibeom laughed bitterly. "So it's really Youngtaek."

"Jibeom…"

"Since when?"

Jaehyun shut his eyes. "I don't know," He answer truthfully. Youngtaek's confesstion had triggered something inside of him, but he believed it was not the beginning. He probably had loved Youngtaek since a long time ago, he's just too blind to see that it's real love, not friendship.

"Don't say I'm the third wheel," Jibeom bitterly said.

"You're not," Jaehyun shook his head. "I really like you, Jibeom."

"But not as much as you like Youngtaek," Jibeom finished the sentence.

'You're wrong', he wanted to tell Jibeom. He didn't like Youngtaek better than Jibeom and vice versa. He liked them both. But noword coming out from his mouth. He's confused, and afraid that he'll say wrong things.

"I get it," Jibeom quietly stood up. Jaehyun's heart constricted in pain. Part of him wanted Jibeom to fight, to convince him that everything's going to be fine. It scared him how easy Jibeom give him up.

"Jibeom-ah, I'm sorry."

Jibeom shook his head. His lips twitched in grimace. "There's nothing to be sorry for," The strain in his voice was apparent. "Maybe.. contrary to what I strongly believe in, we're not fated after all."

It's too hard for him. He just wanted to run away from all of this. The confusion and the fear drained his energy. But it was nothing compared to the pain he felt in his heart. He had lost his boyfriend and his best friend.

*****

Youngtaek didn't expect Jibeom to look for him, especially waiting for him in the campus gate. Jibeom had that troubled look in his face. Jaehyun probably had told him, Youngtaek thought. Youngtaek expected Jibeom to grab his collar or maybe give him a punch, but nothing happened. Jibeom simply walked straight to him with a grim expression.

"Can we talk?"

It was unusual to see Jibeom with that expression, he couldn't refuse the request.

Jibeom led him to an open space near the campus. It's rather hot since there's nothing to shelter them from sunlight, but there were not many people around. It's a perfect place to talk. And it's quite comforting too since Jibeom won't be stupid enough to punch him in front of people.

"What's up?" He asked cautiously. 

Jibeom was frowning. "Have you gone back to your flat? Have you talked to Jaehyun?"

"Uh.." Youngtaek was taken aback.

"Have you or have you not?" Jibeom pressed on, making Youngtaek flustered.

"What is this about?"

"Have you or have you not?" Jibeom stepped closer and asked with more force time. Youngtaek took a step back.

"I… I haven't.."

"What the hell is your problem?" Suddenly Jibeom shouted. "Do you know how devastated he is? Do you know that he had never smiled again since you left? How can you call yourself his best friend?"

Being cornered, Youngtaek was irritated. It hurt him too, and most of all, his broken friendship with Jaehyun was partly, although unintentionally, caused by Jibeom.

""You don't know anything," Youngtaek growled, almost pushing Youngtaek away. 

"Then tell me! Make me understand!" Jibeom shouted back. From the corner of his eyes, he saw some people glancing at their direction. Youngtaek's anger suddenly vanished, replaced with weariness.

"I like Jaehyun," He confessed without meeting Jibeom's eyes. "I've liked Jaehyun for a long time. Long before you came to the picture. Everything was good, too good. We're close, we live together, I can see him everyday, and I'm his closest person."

When Youngtaek looked at Jibeom, he was quite surprised that the younger didn't seem shock. He looked calm instead, like he'd been expecting that.

"It hurts to see you together. And I feel guilty because I can't genuinely wish you happiness. That's why I think I should draw a line, to make myself stop hurting and stop me from feeling guilty. I don't want us to be awkward, but Jaehyun confronted me and I have no choice to tell him. I'm sorry."

Jibeom to a deep breath in and out. A second later he chuckled bitterly. "So that's why.."

"I'm sorry for being a shitty friend," Youngtaek said in resignation, feeling apologetic. If only he could control himself better and get over heartbreak. "I think I need to get away for a while. I don't hate you, trust me, I just need to distract myself with other things. Lingering around you won't help me at all. I might act like an asshole instead.

He didn't expect Jibeom to smile although a sad one. "We broke up, Taek."

Silence.

"W-what?"

"We broke up," Jibeom repeated. 

Youngtaek was stunned. "What? But. Why?? When?"

"A week ago."

"A week??"

Jibeom looked at him wryly. "I know that he hasn't told you yet since you haven't tried to contact me, and it's bugging me."

Youngtaek was utterly confused. He still didn't get it. Jaehyun and Jibeom were fine, but why- 

Suddenly it crossed in his mind of the possibility of his confession ruined it all. He stared at the younger man with horror. 

"Is it because of me?"

"He said he can't be with me because he likes you."

"That's impossible!"

"I don't think he lied," Jibeom's face scrunched like he's holding pain. "Whenever you fight, it greatly affect him. Now that I'm thinking about it, he often talked about you during out dates.."

"Well," Youngtaek licked his lips nervously, he's too flustered. He still couldn't believe it, and yet there's a happiness at the thought of Jaehyun liking him back. "He talks a lot about you too, too much, that sometimes I want to shove something to his mouth so he can stop talking about you."

Jibeom chuckled. "Anyway," He sighed and put his hands in his pocket. "I think he feels bad about it, and maybe you should approach him first. We might not together anymore, but I hate to see him sad."

Youngtaek even felt guiltier. "You must have loved him a lot."

"I do," Jibeom didn't hesitate to answer.

"I'm sorry."

Jibeom smiled and patted his arm. "That's cool. I can't get angry at you too. You're a cool friend. I can't force an unrequited love anyway."

"But.. This is strange.. Jaehyun liked you too, I swear," Youngtaek said seriously. "You know, I still can't understand. I've befriended Jaehyun for years and you are the first person who can make Jaehyun head over heels. I don't know what happened, maybe he's just feeling sorry towards me, he can be stupid sometimes. You what, maybe I should talk to him and knock some sense to his thick head."

"This is a funny situation if only it doesn't hurt," Jibeom forced himself to chuckle. "I'm cool, it hurts, but I accept it. But you need to talk to him. You have to."

Youngtaek gripped his bag strap tightly. It would be awkward and strange to talk with Jaehyun again. But he missed him so much. Besides, he needed to clear the misunderstanding.

"I'll go back to my flat now."

Jibeom nodded, looking relieved. "Great. Hm… Taek, we're cool right?"

Youngtaek was surprised at the sudden hesitation in Jibeom's voice. 

"I mean we like the same person, but we're okay right? We're still friends? It's kind of awkward, and if you to happen to be together, I might act like you did, but.."

"Yeah," Youngtaek said firmly, offering the younger man a sincere smile. "Of course we're cool."

Jibeom breath out in relief.. "Okay, so… You have to call me.. later.. after you talk to him.. so I can feel at ease.."

"Yeah, I'll call you later."

*****

Jaehyun looked horrible when Youngtaek saw him in the flat. 

Horribly cute.

Seemed like he hadn't washed for a few days, and there were bags of chips laying on the sofa. He frowned. Jaehyun was usually very clean and always nagged him when he left his things everywhere.

"Taek?" Jaehyun called him with uncertainty and Youngaek wanted to hug him. He held himself back.

"Hey," He tried to sound casual as he walked in. "It's been a while."

The hesitance on Jaehyun's face was replaced with a scowl. "What are you doing here?"

It didn't faze Youngtaek. He knew Jaehyun. Jaehyun wasn't angry, he just pretended to be angry to mask his sadness. His heart clenched in pain. 

Wordlessly, he strode to the smaller man and enveloped him into a hug.

"I'm sorry Jaehyun-ah."

Jaehyun was pliant and silent in his hold. 

"I'm sorry for being an asshole. Sorry for being a coward. I tried to save myself from pain, but guess what, looking at you like this hurts more."

"Taek.."

Youngtaek pulled away and held Jaehyun's arms. "Jibeom came to see me, and he told me everything. Hey, look at me."

Jaehyun flinched at the mention if Jibeom's name and looked down. 

"Jaehyun," He called again to make Jaehyun look at him.

"What did he say?" Jaehyun asked quietly.

"That you broke up because you like me."

Jaehyun sighed. "Taek, I don't think-"

"Jaehyun, I didn't confess to you to make you feel bad," Youngtaek said. Suddenly he felt sure. It's okay if Jaehyun doesn't like him back, but one thing for sure, he didn't want to trap Jaehyun in guilt. "Trust me when I say I'm alright. There's nothing to be sorry of. People get incorporated feeling, they break but they stand up again. And that's what will happen to me."

"What if I truly like you?"

Jaehyun shocked him with the question.

"What if I liked you all this time but I'm just to blind to realize it and only realize it when you leave me?"

"Jae-"

"I don't want you to leave me, Taek," Jaehyun frowned. "I want you to stay beside me. It's okay if you leave your dirty clothes on my bed. It's okay if eat messily and I have to vacuum the carpet. As long as you're here.. I want to be the one who can make you laugh, not your other friends. That's what I feel. Now tell me if it's not love."

Youngtaek's heart was hammering in his chest. He thought he's going to cry. So Jaehyun feel that way towards him? It's surreal. But…

"You like Jibeom," He said in denial. "You like him to much I've never seen you that happy since I know you."

The light on Jaehyun's eyes suddenly turned dim. With weak movement, he let himself go from Youngtaek. 

"I don't know," He plopped back to the couch, looking small and fragile.

Youngtaek stayed on his spot. "What do you mean you don't know."

Jaehyun's eyes met Youngtaek's. It's like Jaehyun was asking for help. "Does it make sense that you like 2 people equally at the same time?"

Suddenly Youngtaek felt unsure. "What do you mean?"

Jaehyun ruffled his hair rather harshly. "I've been thinking about this until me head feel like exploding. It would be much easier if someone told me who I like, or who I'm supposed to be with. I tried to think, to feel.. but I can't find an answer. I like you, but I like Jibeom too. I thought of a scenario, who will I save if you both are drown, but I can't think of any answer. I'd just rather drown instead of you two."

Jaehyun's voice gradually getting high pitched and sounded exasperated.

"I like Jibeom, but it doesn't mean I like you less. And when I realized that I like you, my feeling towards Jibeom is still so strong. And that makes it suck because I'm being unfair to both of you. I was like.. Can I be with you two? But that would be so fucking selfish and I hate that. And by me cannot decide it for myself, it means I would have to let both of you go and find someone who won't give half of his heart."

Youngtaek was too stunned to talk and even to move.

"I'm… I can understand how you feel. But.." Jaehyun sighed. "There's an exchange program to Japan. It came in good timing and maybe it's a sign that I should take it. I discussed with my parents and they agreed."

Youngtaek felt like a bucket of ice cold water was poured all over his body. 

"I'll submit the application next week."

*****

When Jibeom said the sentence, Youngtaek surprised himself by being calm about it. In fact, he agreed with what Jibeom said. 

He rather have part of Jaehyun than losing him entirely. Apparently Jibeom thought the same.

Idea was uncommon and bizarre. But Youngtaek liked Jibeom too. Not like like he liked Jaehyun. But Jibeom was a cool friend and Jibeom made him laughed. On top of that, Jibeom was kind and pure hearted, he was sure he'll grow to love Jibeom one day.

Jibeom, in the other hand, surprised him by admitting that he's handsome and funny, and he looked charismatic when he danced. Youngtaek almost spat on his drink as he spluttered gibberish words. Jibeom with easy smile his clumsiness was cute too. 

It's strange.

What's even more strange was when they told Jaehyun about the idea. Jaehyun's eyes were wide like his eyeballs were going to pop out from the sockets. Youngtaek felt his eyes grew warm but thankfully Jibeom was confident about it. Or maybe Jibeom just loved Jaehyun so much that he would risk anything to get another chance, Youngtaek thought.

"That's.. That's.." Jibeom gaped like a goldfish, failing to find an exact word to describe what he's feeling.

"I know. But.. We agreed," Jibeom glanced at Youngtaek. "We both love you.. and we thought.. why not?"

Jaehyun looked unsure. "It's.. Jibeom," He said exasperatedly. "How can you think of this?"

Jibeom held Jaehyun's shoulders. "Look, I can accept if you don't love me, but if you say you love us both.. I love you, I want to take any chance. Yes, I'm that desperate. Besides…"

Jibeom glanced at Youngtaek again. "I really think Youngtaek is not bad."

Jaehyun gaped while Youngtaek's face burnt red. "J-Jibeom.. You.. and Youngtaek.."

Youngtaek couldn't face Jaehyun. 

"It's not like what you think," Jibeom quickly said. "I mean.. If being with you means that I have to share you with Youngtaek, and I have to be with Youngtaek a lot, I won't mind."

"Taek?" Jaehyun meekly called the oldest of the trio, as if asking for confirmation.

Youngtaek huffed and braced himself to look at his best friend. "I.. I don't think I'll mind if it's Jibeom."

Jaehyun's eyes expressed shock and bewilderment. Somehow Youngtaek felt braver. 

"Jibeom is a great guy. I'm glad you choose him, Jaehyun-ah. When Jibeom said you like me, I feel broken for him. It broke me to see him sad. Jibeom loves you a lot. And when I think about it, when I imagine it in my mind, us, the three of us, I don't think it'll be bad. I mean even before you're together, we had great time together. I love you, and sharing you love would be better than you leaving. Just.. Can you please give this a try?"

Jaehyun seemed wavered. "But.. It won't be fair for you.."

"It's fair enough for us, as long as you don't leave us," Youngtaek ruffled his hair. "The thought of you leaving.. I can't take it."

He strode over to his best friend, looking at him in the eye. "Jaehyun-ah, please don't leave us. Please, give this a chance. I'm not the most positive guy in the planet, but I really.. Really. Think we can work this out."

Youngtaek felt shivers running through his spine as he's waiting for an answer. Jaehyun was still doubtful, he can see it from his eyes. He gingerly took Jaehyun's hands and gave it a light squeeze on encouragement.

There was no words needed. Youngtaek believed Jaehyun could understand how he's feeling. Jaehyun glanced at Jibeom again, who then said with a painful expression, "Just please say yes before I die from heart attack."

Jaehyun snorted and Youngtaek knew they'll going to be fine.

*****

2019

Jibeom suddenly woken up by the sound of door opening. Carefully not to wake Jaehyun, he shifted his body and faced the newcomer.

"Sleeping already?" Youngtaek talked in hushed voice.

"Yeah," Jibeom's voice was a bit harsh from sleeping. "He didn't look well when he came back."

Youngtaek had already stood beside the bed. "I texted you to ask whether he came back safely."

There's a hint of accusation, but Jibeom only grinned. "Sorry, I turned my phone into silent mode since I was studying. I haven't checked it since Jaehyun arrived."

"Thought so," Youngtaek said wearily.

"How's the performance?"

Youngtaek grinned. "Good. It's been a while, it feels nice."

Jibeom smiled. "You remember when I said I won't make it to the festival where you'll perform next month?"

"What about it?"

"Guess who'll go and watch your performance."

Youngtaek's eyes sparkled. "Really?"

"Yeah."

Youngtaek was about to say something when Jaehyun suddenly shifted beside Jibeom. He clicked his tongue watching Jaehyun snuggling beside Jibeom. Jibeom smirked, Youngtaek huffed.

"I'll take shower."

This time Jaehyun woke up when Youngtaek entered the room again, fresh from shower.

"You're so noisy," Jibeom hissed. There's no malice on his voice, just a playful banter.

"You're back," Jaehyun rubbed his eyes sleepily.

Youngtaek shot Jibeom a glare but his face softened when he saw Jaehyun. "Yeah, I'm sorry I woke you up, get back to sleep."

"I woke up two times because of you," Jibeom said again. Youngtaek moved to the younger man's side and tackled him.

"You're so annoying huh."

Jaehyun laughed watching Jibeom struggling under Youngtaek's lanky body. "Taek, just get back here."

Youngtaek pushed a giggling Jibeom for the last time before hopping to the bed beside Jaehyun. "Still feeling sick?"

Jaehyun hummed. "I feel better."

"So what's the plan for tomorrow? Jibeom is going to study for sure, so it'll be the two of us."

"I won't study tomorrow," Jibeom protested. "I'm free tomorrow."

"Oh, I thought you have important test next week?" Youngtaek pretended to be concern. "We can't let you fail a test, Jibeomie, you'll ruin your reputation."

Jibeom smacked him with a pillow while Jaehyun giggled.

"If Jibeom have to study then I guess we can just watch movies and call fancy delivery," Jaehyun said. It's been a while since the three of them live together and he's slowly gotten used to be a mediator. Youngtaek and Jibeom got along well, but their playfulness often led to childish teasing and banter. As much he loved the two of them, he was sleepy and would be happy to go back to sleep.

Youngtaek groaned but didn't protest. "Whatever the princess say," He teased again. Jaehyun kicked him on the shin.

"I'm swear I'm almost done studying, we can go anywhere you like," Jibeom suddenly said in serious tone. Youngtaek snorted. Jibeom was always a rather possessive one.

However, under the dim streetlight peeking from behind the curtain, Youngtaek could see the bliss on Jaehyun's face. Beside Jaehyun, Jibeom had the similar expression. Suddenly he felt warm. He curled beside Jaehyun, feeling the younger man pressed his body to him.

Youngtaek lay relax on the bed with a soft smile. 

He felt content.


End file.
